Monday, December 29, 2008

Certain Women Regard Drew As a Prime Catch

Love is in the air this holiday season, although it might not be where you expect it.

Drew Peterson's lawyer recently confirmed that Peterson is engaged to a local 24-year-old woman. For those of you who haven't kept abreast of the Peterson media blitz, the 54-year-old former Bolingbrook police sergeant is being investigated in the 2004 homicide of his third wife, Kathleen, and he is still married to his missing wife, Stacy.

You might think that the suspicious death of one wife and another missing one would cause most women to run for the hills, but Peterson actually is quite the draw around town. Women swarm around him at local bars, so-called Drew groupies abound, and now he is engaged to a young, pretty woman.

What is the attraction?

There are a couple of reasons why women flock to purported bad boys like Peterson. Often, these women have an early history of conflict or trauma with the primary male figure in their life. In some women, this might be a history of an abusive relationship with their father, or perhaps an emotionally charged relationship with their stepfather.

If there is conflict with the primary male figure in a young woman's childhood, no matter whom that might be, this could present later in life an attraction to bad boys or an attraction to unhealthy relationships. This pattern also could be set in place when girls witness an abusive or an unhealthy relationship between their father and mother, or between their mother and the men she dates. Witnessing abusive or controlling relationships such as these can cause women to associate love with abuse or sexuality with control and dominance.

Another reason that women are attracted to bad boys is because of the power they wield. Women think that if they are attached to a powerful, dominant man, they will become powerful as well. Of course, the opposite is true, and these women often find themselves trapped in abusive relationships in which all of their power and autonomy is removed.

In cases such as Drew Peterson, the display of power becomes even more intoxicating, because his fame makes him appear larger than life. Whether innocent or guilty, Peterson has become a local celebrity. Regardless of whether this recognition is fame or infamy, women are attracted to the glow of fame. He might not be Brad Pitt, but he still gets his name in the paper on a regular basis, and that alone is attraction enough in our celebrity-obsessed culture.

The lure of bad boys is nothing new. From serial killers to convicted wife killers such as Scott Peterson, the most heinous criminals in our society are never short on fascinated groupies. Women who seek out bad boys will inevitably find them ... and, unfortunately, they often find a sad end as well.

To prevent these unsafe relationship patterns, parents have to help children develop confidence and secure relationships. Young women need to learn healthy relationship patterns and develop a strong sense of self-worth if they are to establish adult relationships with the right boy, instead of the bad one.

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